Jim Elliott once famously said, “Wherever you are, be all there.”

I felt a tug at my pant leg and the familiar voice of one of my sons asking me a question. Since I didn’t actually hear the whole question, I had to ask him to repeat it. That’s when my wife, Heidi, calmly chimed in with “Honey, he’s been trying to get your attention for 2 minutes.” Ouch. Guilty.

I’d been looking at my phone doing something I’m sure I thought was important at the time – and totally missed my son. Actually, I was missing my whole family – as I was either reading a news article, responding to an email or posting something on Twitter. All my son saw was that I thought my phone was more important than him.

Distractions
I’m convicted that this happens far more often than I’d like to admit – and not only with my family, of course. So many distractions, so many to do’s, so many things competing for my attention – that I often miss an opportunity God has for me to engage in something far more important. Presence. A relationship. A person. Not a gadget, a gizmo or the latest technology – but presence with a living, breathing being, created in the image of God.

Presence
I recently read a great article in Leadership Journal by Gordon MacDonald where he says that “presence describes the kind of engagement in which two or more human beings reach a level of heart-to-heart connection (koinonia, knowing and being known) that doesn’t happen casually. It is a connection deep enough that each person is conscious that God is in our midst participating in the conversation.”

He goes on to say that the results of presence are that people “feel valued, cared for, lovingly corrected, missed when absent, comforted, and influenced to grow into greater qualities of maturity in the Christian way.”

God Is In Our Midst
When I think of presence in this way – that God is in our midst participating in the conversation – it changes my outlook on every interaction I have. I truly long to be more present in any given situation – but if I’m honest, it’s a huge struggle for me. Something that I need to consciously remind myself of– in the moment.

Practicing Presence
As I’ve considered this in my own life, I’ve thought of a few simple ways we can practice “presence” – and let people know they’re valued by how we live and respond:

1. Put the phone/device away. This is a tough one for me. My iPhone is a window to the world – a deep, rich source of information, and a way to connect with so many others. But it’s also my greatest distraction. A recent Ubergizmo article actually talks about withdrawal symptoms experienced by iPhone users without their devices. Sad. Let people know they’re more important. Especially at a meal. Don’t just set the phone down on the table. Put it in your pocket or your purse. Even leaving it on the table lets someone know your attention is divided, especially if a text or phone call comes in…
2. Don’t look past someone in a conversation. Have you ever been in a conversation with someone whose eyes are looking beyond you, as if looking for a more important person to talk to? Unfortunately, I’ve been on both sides of this one. Practice being present in conversations. Keep eye contact and truly listen – and in this way, you let that person know there is no one more important in the moment. What a great opportunity to acknowledge that God truly is in our midst and participating in the conversation.
3. See some interruptions as God-given opportunities for “presence”. When you think about it – if God is in control and oversees every detail of each of our lives, is there really such a thing as an interruption? What if those moments we call interruptions are really divine appointments – chances to practice “presence” with another at what might seem like an inconvenient time? I remember reading what author C.S. Lewis said about interruptions:

 “The great thing, if one can, is to stop regarding all the unpleasant things as interruptions of one’s ‘own,’ or ‘real’ life. The truth is of course that what one calls the interruptions are precisely one’s real life — the life God is sending one day by day.” 
― C.S. Lewis, The Collected Works of C.S. Lewis

I know I’m going to continue to fail and make mistakes. We all will. And I’m convicted that I’m offering these thoughts more from the position of weakness than strength. But it’s clear that Jesus was perfect in His way of being present with others. We have much to learn from Him as we seek to follow Him, so feel free to hold me accountable. And I’m hoping that the next time one of my boys tugs at my leg to ask me a question, it won’t take me two minutes to know he’s there.

Humbly, 
Brian Petak

Photo Credit: Dboybaker
Photo License: Creative Commons 2.0